When I asked him if it was good he gave me one of the greatest reviews of all time. He was drinking good old white label Jim Beam on the rocks. During the fall deer hunting season, I saw one of my coaches at a buddy’s hunting camp. Another coach made me adept at identifying the smell of various flavors of Skoal chewing tobacco. One coach smelled like an ash tray and coffee as he yelled into my face. Basically, these guys smelled like grown men of the ‘80s and ‘90s. But apart from the natural smells of the season or playing field, my coaches all delivered their own odors too. Our school’s basketball gym had the smell of hardwood and the varnish they used on the court. The football locker room absolutely reeked of grass, dirt, and sweaty pads and practice uniforms that were long overdue for a wash. During baseball season it was the smell of fresh cut grass and the oil and leather of my glove. That taught me a lot about life that has proved invaluable in adulthood.ĭifferent sports always carried their own unique smells. There was one coach I really could not stand to be around, but I knew I had to show up every day, do what he said, and be there for my friends and teammates. It certainly made me grow some thicker skin and learn to handle a bit of adversity. I just figured it was all part of the process. Even though these actions were not something I had ever experienced at home, it never bothered me when my coaches did them. On the other hand, I had coaches who would scream and yell and berate and curse and throw things. My dad would raise his voice now and then, but he rarely cursed and never at us kids. Many were a little rougher around the edges than my parents. I got to play for some really amazing coaches who volunteered a ton of their time to make me better. Football, baseball, basketball, track, whatever. As a sports-obsessed kid, I always had some kind of season going on. Not only did I have an amazing dad, but I was spoiled in the sense that I had a number of other strong male role models in my life. Leakers are everywhere, and it usually doesn’t take me long to spot one. That mentality is still a major part of my mindset and perspective. In some ways, the worst thing a person could be was a leaker. My dad always warned me about the dangers of being a “leaker.” Leakers were people that weren’t dependable when the chips were down and the game was on the line. He would say with pride that he was a, “nose to the grindstone,” worker who just kept going and always answered the bell when it came time to get things done. During my entire childhood, I watched my dad handle his business like a man. We weren’t rich but we sure never missed a meal or wanted for much. Our household was incredibly stable and comfortable. It was never even a thought that he was going to do anything for the family other than what was best for all of us. Last weekend, I got the best sleep I’ve had in a very long time. My perspective shift is already paying off. It’s time to stop expecting too much from others. You’d think any grown adult would want to do the same, but it’s actually very uncommon. I’m not saying I’m perfect, but you better believe that if I make a mistake, I fucking own it, learn from it, and do better the next time. It’s funny how getting choked out and physically dominated will change a person’s perspective when it comes to things like ego and self-assuredness. It’s not common for people to start their day with a good old fashioned ass-kicking at the gym. Not everyone has a spouse or crew of friends who will call them out when they are screwing things up. I forget that not everyone reads books and listens to podcasts that make them think about things like ownership and accountability. The world could be crumbling and burning down around some folks, and they would just sit there afraid to say or do anything for fear of making waves or, heaven forbid, changing their own way of thinking. Over the last month or so, I’ve wasted way too much time and energy and possible sleep by expecting others to start to get a clue and take some action to help themselves and everyone around them. I need to quit having expectations for some of the people in my life.
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